Heavenly Father,
I am appreciative and in awe of the magnificence of your creations. I am always with You and am grateful for this life and the people and situations You brought to me. I know when I am not with You because that is when things go awry. It is so easy to be seduced by the flock. They know not what they do; I should not have looked their way and I am sorry for this. I come on my knees and with tears running down my face to bear my heavy heart and pray for Grace. I do not know what to do. I do not want this life to go to waste. I will always feel like I'm 15. I pray for another chance. I leave all my problems in Your hands. My body should not be deteriorating. Heal me from within in whatever way is necessary.
Father, you are my one and only parent. Though D and I have these crazy pasts with our parents/families respectively, don't we get to have a family of our own? Will our child come back? I do not want to go through ivf again. I want it to happen naturally like before. If I need ivf again, lead us to a smooth process. Enlighten us to navigate this. Show us the way, as You are the Source of all.
And as for this career I have been pursuing for almost 30 years now, please let exams go smoothly. Enlighten me with the knowledge I need to do well on these exams and get a residency where my job is walking distance of my home.
In great reverence, Amen