The last three years have been unbearable for myself and my children. I finalized a highly contentious divorce after 20 years of marriage that included infidelity, physical, mental, and emotional abuse from my spouse. Although the divorce has been finalized, the trauma and abuse continues with the small amount of communication and interaction between myself and my narcissistic ex-spouse. I’m so tired of the pain and abuse that’s been inflicted on me and my children. Lord, I don’t understand how this person can move on and seemingly prosper while the children and I are left picking up the pieces and dealing with whatever drama he inflicts upon us. A few weeks ago he wanted to introduce me (before introducing our youngest child) to the person he cheated with during the marriage. This person had a role in destroying the marriage covenant. To propose an introductory meeting “out of respect for me” is an insult and abomination. The gesture of facilitating a mother-to-mother conversation with a person like this is detestable. God, I don’t understand how a person like this can continue to hurt the people around him, who have done nothing but love him, and continue to get away with it. Most days I feel tired and want to give up. I’ve prayed every prayer I can pray, I’ve fasted, I’ve tried everything and it feels like God isn’t listening or doesn’t care.
God, please completely release me and my children from this man. Allow us to be free of the manipulation and control. Please allow us to move forward with our lives so that we may truly heal from this pain. This is pain he initiated to please his flesh and worldly desires. God please move him away so I can raise my children without having to get his permission on things. This feels like a different form of control and imprisonment. This is difficult for me to process when I’m dealing with depression, anxiety, and PTSD. God allow him to enjoy the “happiness” he said he wanted when he left the marital home in a separate place.
Lord, we want peace. In Jesus’s name we pray, Amen.